owkay guys .. my first ever rappin hahaha . i no its not buh still wana get ur feedback..its small tho..buh il improve hopefuly [[ i no ur gna laugh at it ]] so lol .. laugh owt loud

m ballin
n fallin down
m breakin apart
ma tears rollin down..
turnin in2 pieces
oh fuck you mrs

cut the noose around,
cut me free,
and say the things,
u ve lied to me

its too dark tonite 2 run fom dis mess
But i set the tone for ma escape
I wana feel pain inside of my chest
I know ima die
but yet ill try


is it a sin. dat i breathe for u, i live for u
with every blink of ma eyes i think of u i love u

but newyz FUCK u

This is more like a poem, cause of the structure...but its not bad as a first attempt.

i no :S

newys thx man
il try agen

yeh .. a dam fuckin poem
u shubbi a poet man.. be wat u r - xD
buh if u rreeelli wana be a rapper..then not bad as a first attempt

naaa rapppaa mannnn
poets der bhat nai lmao

Ya'll briggaz ain spittaz ur screws loose its bout 2 get tightened
ya'll r pussy nikkahz iam about 2 rip ur hymen
eretime iam rhyming i dont command i destroy
ya'll r lil kids didn ur momma get u sum toys
14 yr old pussies talkin da drug shit
niggaz wipe ur fuckin ass wen u try n write shit
wat typa name is nylos any way
ma bars hit harder den a grenade raid
i give more push on tracks den gatarade
i smell lyk a million dollaz n i don even get paid


lol felt lyk freestylin 1 minute text i ain battlin no1 iam juss freestylin u shud try it its funny..

yo ... i gues dis is called rappin

da world has known us
fm luv to lust
da pain drove us to insanity
we came frum a world of monopoly
the rich get richer while da poor gets fuqd
its jus our dam fuqin luck
u hate us of our pure jealousy
all u do its pure hypocracy
non-the-less
i must confess
u are da one i must take owt
u know wots is about
u loud u jus act da one and only
buh hell niga i aint lonely
i got god beside me
dats all i need to make dis fearless battle
dont be tattle
we kill da snitches and liars
andil slit ur throat lyk mike myers
u js a piece of easy tail
even at fugin u fail
don denie mi struggle
u see what i hafta juggle?
mi lifes full of blame and hate
buh i must find luv for ma sake
i no stil afta i die il be in hells fire'ry lake
and don eva try to get into mi neck
or else niga il destroy you in a sec

Hey...u must mantain a consistant flo.....da same prb dat I'm facing...but not bad...gr8er than ur first attempt...ur inproving..GUDD LUCK.

k man il try to
and thx :S

No prb

hey suicide..nyc maan.. rilly decent nd kool lyrix

why do y'all think your the best// 
oviously non of yo heard of da west// 
y'all in here dissin folks// 
i think your all just patronising, artificial old blokes// 
my girlfriend's body is to die for// 
you touch her, ill ****-up your whore// 
now y'all praise each others raps// 
are you here to win or kiss each others cracks// 
hold up, let me fall back// 
coz i know y'all aint ready for all dat// 
i know i'm a chav// 
but what i wear is what you can't have// 
m8, u diss me i'll start war// 
i must warn you, i dont take notice to the law// 
**** gangsters, they aint got shit on me// 
i'll wipe them out like i did Ali G// 
so don't mess, y'all can't beat me// 
not with your silly lil rhymes anyway// 
i mean geez// 
spit summit better than that so i can fully reply// 
PLEASE!!!!//(haha)

sum feedback bout the lyrics, please.

*frozenhell gives a strawberry lollypop to nNa*